In dedication to my nephew

Some days you realize that no matter how grown up you think you are, you really know absolutely nothing at all.  My nephew lost a friend of his this week in one of those accidents that can only be described as horribly tragic.  As his aunt, I want to offer words of wisdom that will offer him some comfort during this difficult time.  As an adult you think you’ll have the resources available to handle most situations because chances are you’ve been through something like it in your own life.  Unfortunately, I have no frame of reference for this type of situation.  Every day I see his heartfelt messages on Facebook and it pains me because I want to be able to tell him, this too shall pass, only I don’t know if it will because I have no personal authority on the matter. 

Sometimes you realize that no matter how large of a vocabulary you may have, it’s still not big enough to find the exact right words to help someone you love.  Sometimes you realize that all the pain you’ve experienced and learned from in your own life is utterly useless because it’s not the right type of pain.  Sometimes, no matter how much you’d like to rally otherwise, you’re simply helpless, even though you’re the adult.  So you instead do the best you can and hope that it’s enough, even if it’s really nothing at all.


I just want you to know that I love you and I’m here for you if you need me and so is Uncle Tim.  Your song is beautiful and is a touching tribute to Henry.  You’re a wonderful friend and I’m sure Henry is just as touched by your words as the rest of us are.  I wish I could offer more than that.  Please know that I’m only a phone call away if you need to talk. 

I love you, kiddo,

Auntie Ali

I wish I had better words than those.  Instead, I must offer up someone’s else’s and hope that it speaks more eloquently than I ever could.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die…

~Mary Elizabeth Frye


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