Can you put a price on AWESOME?

Sometimes it takes me a few days to write a post.  Other days, it’s like they just write themselves.  Today is one of those days.  The latter kind of day, not the former.  Brace yourself, Internet, for I have thought of an idea so AWESOME it will literally change lives. 

The inspiration for this idea comes in large part from Thirty Seconds to Mars.  You’ll be thrilled to hear that not only have they rescheduled their November 5 Clifton Park show (This is how I initially felt about it: Dear Jared, Shannon, and Tomo, you kinda broke my heart) they have also scheduled a show for the Oakdale the very next evening.  Yee-haw!  (I’ve decided to rockify yee-haw.  It had a good run as a country saying but I think it needs revamping.  Feel free to pepper it into your conversations henceforth.)  The boys have also provided Golden Ticket Packages that include things like a ticket to the show, early VIP entry, meet and greet with the band, etc, etc.  (::cough::  christmaspresent   ::cough::).  All of this started me thinking that perhaps I’ve been going about this grand ole thing called life all wrong.  After a thorough examination of the previous few months of my life, I have come to the expert conclusion that I am so very AWESOME that I should start charging people to meet me. 

I KNOW.

Genius, right?  Or perhaps you need a visual?  Thankfully, I have provided the handy dandy chart below so you can clearly and accurately see how my AWESOME quotient has increased exponentially over the last few months.

Clearly I need to start making money from this much excess of AWESOME.  So, henceforth, it will now cost you the quite reasonable price of twelve gazillion dollars to meet me/hang out with me (nearest and dearest may apply a five percent discount at checkout).  Perhaps you’re thinking to yourself, “Why Ali, only twelve gazillion?  You’re certainly worth a cool eleventy-five gazillion, easy.”  You would be correct.  I am worth a cool eleventy-five gazillion, easy.  I also happen to be just so incredibly awesome that I’m willing to offer a reasonable price for my time. 

O. M. G.  Is it possible??  Did she just become more AWESOME??!!

Yuppers! 

I accept cash, check, all major credit cards, sparkly gifts of the jewelry variety,  lavish five-star meals, spur-of-moment vacations to exotic locales (Antarctica is NOT an exotic locale, it is a cold-as-hell locale and really it need not apply.  Same goes for the Arctic.  And any place that is cold at any point in time.)  and payment in the form of kittens and puppies and baby spider monkeys. 

Also, in the very near future, I will be offering a FREE seminar via this very bloggity blog featuring tips and tricks from yours truly on the methodology on how to become AWESOME (Not as awesome as me, of course.  I came unto this world with extra awesome and unfortunately it cannot be equaled.).  Please feel free to email me for details.  If you register now, I’ll include a picture of Mbrotha signed by fabulous moi! 

P.S.  The Fab Trio (myself, M1 and M6, duh) are available for meet-and-greets.  « BY APPOINTMENT ONLY«

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