Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Hey, Internet. 

I know, I know, I’ve been unapologetically absent.  I fell victim to one of those classic blunders.  You know the one that falls after “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.” and right before “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line?”  The one where I used to be this super awesome blogger but then I was lazy and didn’t blog? 

That one? 

My apologies, Internet.  I’ll try to not let it happen again.  The holidays happened and my grandfather passed away and I was wrapped up in all of that.  But now I’m back.  With a vengeance. 

No, no, make that a grudge. 

So I’m on this path for self-acceptance, right?  Because of that, there are certain areas of my life that I’m examining and trying to restructure to help me on this quest.  Recently I’ve started thinking that something I’ve always thought I knew about myself, something that I was positive was true about me, is, in fact, a giant lie.  And here’s why.

Recently a series of events occurred.  The details are essentially unimportant, but suffice it to say I was screwed over.  Not in a major way, but in the kind of way where you find out the true measure of a person (whom you’d already suspected, so it’s really no surprise things turned out this way).  Anyway, I was screwed over and my suspicions where confirmed as to the nature of said person. 

(The worst part of it all is said person was all, “Are you mad?”  I really hate that.  Don’t screw me over and then ask me if it upsets me.  No, you rhino’s butthole, I thoroughly enjoy getting the short end of the stick due to your douchebaggery.)


So this series of events happened and as I was processing the whole thing I realized something that is, essentially, the inspiration for this post.  I realized that I wouldn’t forget this series of events.  I realized that I’d remember this for years and years and years.  I realized—gasp!—that I’m a grudge holder.  I never knew this about myself, but it makes so much perfect sense that according to occam’s razor, it must be true.  All these years I’ve thought I was a forgiving person, but alas, nothing but lies.    

(Side note:  I asked Mbrotha if he thinks I hold grudges.  His response?  “I don’t know, do you?”  Thanks, Mbrotha, helpful as always…). 

Does anyone else have a sour taste in their mouth?  No?  Just me then?  Oy.  I really hate it when I discover something about myself that is not proof positive that I’m eleventy bonkzillion percent awesome.  Since I’m feng shui-ifying my life in general, this is clearly an area that needs restructuring.  Oh, but how?  I’ve been holding onto some of these grudges for ages.  Admitting is the first step to acceptance right?  Alright, here goes.

Hey, I’m Ali and I…I’m a grudge-holder. 

Okay.  So that was kind of anti-climactic.  I was expecting some sort of fanfare.  Like a parade in my honor.  Or at least a float dedicated to me in a parade.  Or sheesh, balloons at the very least.  I’d even settle for a balloon animal in the shape of a snake.  Don’t they say admitting the problem is the hardest part?  Well, I admitted my problem.  So that means I get a prize, right?  I was brave and admitted that I’m not perfect and here’s why, so surely, I deserve some sort of something, right?



Fine.  Keep your parade then.  But don’t think I won’t remember this.  I’ll remember this for a looooooooooooong time.  Years.  Decades.   Centuries.  I’ll remember this for the next ten lifetimes.  Yeah, I will.  When you discover the cure for cancer three lifetimes from now…guess what?  Yeah, I’ll remember.  And I’ll tell the world.  Your bubble?

Consider it burst. 

How do you like that apple crumble with a slice of cheddar? 




Well, hell.  Hey, at least I’ve figured out the problem right?


2 Comments to “Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…”

  1. Congratulations on admiting your problem. I am so proud! But sorry no, no parade for you today. For today is only Aleishamas EVE!! Hello!!??!!

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