Posts tagged ‘Dreams and Aspirations’

February 18, 2011

It’s the thought that counts, right?

Every now and again I have one of those “Aha!” moments.  You know the kind where you’re bumbling along trying to find your way and then all of a sudden something happens and you go, “Yes!  That right there!  That’s what I’m looking for!  That’s it!”  And all of a sudden birds are singing and the sun is shining and your outlook on life is just fucking amazing.  You know those moments?

I had one of those moments today.  I had no idea it was about to happen either.  I was just sitting there, minding my own business, fake-interviewing celebrities while eating my lunch. 

And Whammo!

It hits me.  This realization I’ve been searching for for ages.  And it happened at the most innocuous of times and when I was least expecting it.  A co-worker mentioned that she’s going to Haiti in March for volunteer work.  She’s volunteered once already and this is her second year going. 

That’s all it took.  I was hooked. 


Look, let’s take a moment and air the dirty laundry.  I used to do this job I absolutely fucking hated for this company I liked even less.  Spawn of Satan is not even remotely an apt description.  It put me in this huge funk that, at times, I was positive I would never be able to recover from.  Just……bloody fucking awful.  Somehow, a miracle occurred and I was able to tell the “Dude” to go fuck off and here’s your suck-ass job to do it with (And by that I mean I politely quit and thanked them for the opportunity.). 

The end of that job allowed me to start thinking again.  Thoughts that I make available here, whether you care to hear them or not (you totally do though, let’s face it, I’m made of awesome-sauce and win).  And over the course of the last eight months I’ve figured out that I want more from my life.  Unfortunately, I’m still vastly uncertain exactly what “more” I’m looking for.  Thankfully, every now and again the universe sees fit to throw me a bone and I have an “Aha!” moment.  Thanks Universe, you rock. 

One time in my life I’d like to do something that doesn’t benefit me in any way.  When I heard about my co-worker’s trip today, I was just amazed.  I want to do that.  I want to go somewhere and help someone I don’t know simply because I can.  I want to help make a difference somewhere.  So now I just have to figure out where.  Who’s going to be lucky enough to get this girl? 

I think it’d be more accurate to say, who’s going to be unlucky enough to get this girl.  What I lack in upper-body strength, I make up for in smile-wattage.  I hope that accounts for something. 

I’m also not a huge fan of bugs or sweating.  But I can save you from the Zombiepocalypse.  At least, I’m pretty sure I can.  I haven’t had to test out my skills yet and I’d like to keep it that way.

Now it looks like I’m making fun of volunteering.  Great. 

Worst.  Volunteer.  Candidate.  Ever.

November 20, 2010

Is all of them a choice?

Once upon a time, when this here blog was nothing more than a bloggy sparkle in mine own eye, I didn’t give much thought to exactly how far I wanted to go with it.  I didn’t really give much thought to a title, or a niche.  Somewhere along the way that changed and now I’ve developed this voracious desire for more readers and subscribers.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the ones I have now.  You guys rock!  You’re the bestest!  Here I drew you a picture:

Anyway, turns out I want to go legit.  I want my own domain name.  I want a web host.  And I want opinions on the best possible name for this bloggity blog.  Ipso facto, I have created the poll below.  Please choose one.  Or three.  Or all of them.  Or nominate your own creative suggestion. 


That’s all I’ve got.  No, wait, I also gift you this:

Brain:  “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

Pinky:  “I think so, Brain, but if Pinocchio were carved out of bacon it wouldn’t be the same story, would it?”

November 6, 2010

We’re gonna fuel this fire, gonna stoke it up

Fire: (courtesy of Merriam-Webster online


b (1) : burning passion : ardor (2) : liveliness of imagination : inspiration


b (1) : to give life or spirit to : inspire <the description fired his imagination> (2) : to fill with passion or enthusiasm —often used with up

“There is a fire inside and it started a riot about to explode into flames”

“Hurricane” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

 A while back, I didn’t really like the state of my soul.  To say it looked bleak is an understatement.  Basically I was having a devil of a time trying to find sources of happiness internally.  I definitely had plenty of external resources, but whether or not I made myself happy?  Giant NO.  Luckily, I could pinpoint and attribute my dissatisfaction to one major culprit and I worked hard to rid myself of that particular negativity (currently living OHS free five months and counting) (OHS-not a drug or a disease.  Well, maybe a disease…).  

Ridding myself of that particular wretchedness allowed me the opportunity to tune in and figure out what makes me tick.  Consumed as I was by the horrendousness, I hadn’t, for years, listened to what I had to say.  And prior to that, I was too young to understand.  Lately though, I’ve had this burning desire to explore what’s inside my heart, find out what makes me happiest. 

And I figure other people have this desire as well.  Which is why I created a website.  Ta-da!  Announcing the launch of Inner Fire!  It’s my way of trying to promote positivity globally.  Promote finding your own inner fire.  I’m having the time of my life finding my own. 

I’d love love LOVE feedback on this.  I know what I like, but this website isn’t about me (ok, it’s a little bit about me…what can I say? This much AWESOMENESS is hard to contain.).  I want to hear everyone’s ideas, thoughts, opinions.  Lay ‘em on me.  What makes you tick?  What’s your passion?  I want to know.  And I want to feature it. 

Get ready, I’m about to set the world ABLAZE.

October 31, 2010

The only time traffic is bueno

Last night at a Halloween party, I had a quick discussion with Mbrotha’s friend Jay about the various rock concerts we’ve attended and which bands rocked and which ones didn’t.  Naturally, I mentioned that 30STM is the cat’s pajamas when it comes to rock concerts (but not on Friday, November 5th.  Sigh…) to which Jay replied, “I know, I’ve read your blog.”


I know people read my blog as WordPress provides me with handy little stats regarding the traffic to my blog and from which sites said traffic originates.  It displays lovely little graphs with information as to how many visitors I have and which posts they’re reading.  (So far, Dear Jared, Shannon and Tomo, you kinda broke my heart is winning in the race for top-viewed post.  And naturally, that’s the one they read…).   But it doesn’t tell me who’s reading my blog, only the site they used to get there.  So it’s pretty flipping AWESOME to hear it in person.  Thanks, Jay!

Yesterday I wrote a post that differed from my usual posts, because it involved a topic that hits pretty close to home.  Lately I’ve involved myself in a mission for self-acceptance.  The other day I read an article that really bothered me (see my post entitled Outrage) and this started me thinking that I can’t remember the last time I heard of a global positivity movement and it made me want to start one.  Now I’m a little obsessed.  Today I researched ways to increase traffic to my blog so that way I can spread the word and maybe I can really get this thing going.  Consequently, the following will make little sense to anyone but me:


Much of the promotion of my blog required me to figure out exactly what this blog is about.  I reviewed my previous posts because, initially, I’d hoped to simply use it as a platform for purging my brain of extraneous thoughts so I had a clean slate for writing.  And naturally, it has evolved into more than that for me.  A lot of my posts discuss my quest for self-acceptance and answers to that pesky little question of what to do with my life so I figured this was probably the most accurate description. 

(You’d also not be surprised to learn that I promote the hell out of Thirty Seconds to Mars in many of my posts (shocking, I know…).  I heart them (you don’t say…).  And I figure this is the best platform for me to pester my friends and family into hearting them as well.  Of course, if you’re looking for them to notice you so that someday you’ll be BFF’s with either Jared, Shannon, or Tomo, I don’t recommend writing a post detailing exactly the how’s and why’s of why you may be pissed at them for cancelling a show.  Turns out?  They notice that kind of thing and trust me when I say that being noticed for excessive awesomeness is definitely preferable vs. being noticed because of bad press.  I imagine a retweet on Twitter by any one of the guys is ten different shades of awesome.  Having them tweet directly to you and tell you YOU broke THEIR hearts? 

Bittersweet.  So very bittersweet…)

So far my experiment is a success.  Thank you, Jenn, for posting your comment in response to Because I love deep fried oreos.  I hope others will feel comfortable in following in your footsteps.  I would LOVE to open up my Facebook page one morning and see my timeline filled with statuses from everyone I know and love stating why they love them.  And if I can encourage someone I don’t know?  Even better.  If everyone everywhere took one day to state one reason why they are amazing? 

That day would be the most AWESOME day in the history of days.  It really really would. 

October 30, 2010

Because I love deep fried oreos

I’d like to try an experiment of sorts.  Late last evening I wrote a post in response to an article written on Marie Claire’s website, please read it here: Outrage.  The whole thing has kind of stuck in my craw since I read that stupid article yesterday morning.  Yesterday, I formulated a response to it and posted that response, and yet I feel unsatisfied.  Do you know what bugs me the most? 

The publicity.

A lot of people had a tremendous response to the article (myself included) and rightfully so.  Unfortunately this also encouraged promotion of this article.  And that just doesn’t sit well with me.  I had reservations about posting my own response because I didn’t want to encourage anyone to read it.  I disagreed with it all and I don’t generally like to advocate that which I don’t believe in.  My response was meant to address my own astonishment that something so cruelly written would then be published and even worse, defended.  (No lie.  The editors still support this article.  Ummmm…  I hate that something so negative is now so publicized and I also hate the damage it may have inflicted upon anyone who read it. 

Let’s put an end to it. 

I’m tired of the negativity.  I’m tired of being told how I should look and act and what my opinion should be about things.  I’m tired of being told that who I am is not correct and if I’d only make these ten thousand changes, well then I’d be loved by all.  I don’t want to be loved by all anymore.  I want to be loved by one person and one person only.  I want universal acceptance from one singular soul.


In order to do that I need to stop being afraid of what others think of my actions, my thoughts, my appearance.  And I want the same for everyone else.  So that no matter how many insensitive articles are written, you and I can both say, it’s okay, because I love me and that’s what matters most. 

Will you help me?  Together let’s make this a viral sensation.  Let’s make this so widely publicized everyone forgets about a silly little article.  Please do me a favor and click the “Like” button at the bottom of this post.  Post on facebook why you should love you.  Tweet it.  Email it.  Tell your friends and family why you know you are AWESOME.  Hell, tell strangers.  Maybe if we all start loving ourselves, we’ll start loving one another instead of judging one another.  Please please please, help me do this.  If you’re afraid, ask me and I’ll help.  I’ll gladly post why you should love you.  I’ll post it on Facebook and Twitter.  I’ll email it.  I’ll tell my friends and family.  And I’ll start it.

My name is Ali and I’m AWESOME because I have freckles and because I love to read.  Because I have this really skewed sense of equality.  Because I love vampires but I’m terrified of zombies.  Because some mornings I think I’m beautiful and some mornings I hate every piece of clothing I own.  Because I care about the environment.  Because I love Thirty Seconds to Mars enough to tell them they pissed me off.  Because my laugh sounds like a fire siren.  Because I love butterflies and orchids.  Because my greatest fear is being alone for eternity.  Because I know I’m right even when I know I’m wrong.  Because I have a big butt.  Because I love my family fiercely and will fight to the death for any one of them.  Because I have blue eyes.  Because when I think no one is around I talk to myself.  Because I love to write. 

So here’s my experiment:  Start off small.  Post as your Facebook/Twitter status one reason you love you.  Or just simply state My name is and I’m AWESOME (fabulous, spectacular, beautiful, unique, pretty, stunning, magnificent, brilliant, incredible, amazing, dazzling, breathtaking, marvelous, wonderful, extraordinary, fantastic, excellent, cute, lovely, outstanding, handsome, exquisite).  I’ll like your status. 

Also, please share my blog so that we can get others to help in the experiment.  Let’s make this viral.  Let’s make this global.  Let’s promote positivity.

My name is Ali and I am AMAZING.