Posts tagged ‘J.D. Salinger’

November 26, 2010

Swords, Zombies, and Cartoons: This post’s got it all

I had a conversation with a coworker recently and it inspired me enough to write this post.  She discovered that I’m a bit of a book whore and since then we’ve been making recommendations to one another.  Currently I’m in my Young Adult phase and was trying to describe the premise of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and she was trying to remember a novel that pretty much every high-schooler reads in their high school career that had a similar post-apocalyptic/utopian kind of feel.  The only two books I can remember reading in high school are Animal Farm and The Catcher in the Rye

I hated both.  Like really hated them.  In a stab-them-with-a-sword-and-display-them-at-the-edge-of-my-yard kind of way.  (Behold!  I am Ali “The Book Impaler!”  Write an interesting novel and ye shall not be impaled!)

When I mentioned this, she regarded me in that typical you hated “The Catcher in the Rye”??? kind of disbelief that most normal folk exhibit upon hearing this sort of earth-shattering news.  Yes, yes, I did.  Holden’s a whiny bitch-ass.  And I don’t much care for repetition.  At certain points of any story, it can be quite effective, yes, agreed.  Calling every person you meet—every single damn one of them—a phony?  Not effective.  It’s aggravating in a stab-you-with-a-sword-and-display-you-at-the-edge-of-the-yard kind of way.  Grow up and grow a pair, Holden. 

But then my co-worker surprised me.  She admitted that she, too, hated it initially.  But she reread it this summer and you know what??  She realized that it’s actually quite funny.  And she suggested I reread it.  Great.  Now she’s on the bandwagon of “Holden Caulfield is the shiznit!”.  Sigh.  Somehow, though, this whole conversation inspired me though.  I realized I barely remember TCITR.  I don’t remember the plot at all, other than Holden’s a whiny bitch-ass that apparently has a limited vocabulary.  So how can I honestly say I hate this book?  And that line of thinking led me to think of all the other things in life I hated that everyone else loved.  And I realized most of the things that I hate originate from my childhood and I haven’t really viewed any of them with an adult eye so perhaps I really don’t hate these things in all reality. 

So you know what?  Challenge accepted, Linds!

Without further ado, I present to you the list of “Things I’d prefer to stab with a sword, but everyone else pretty much loves.”  I’ve decided I will revisit these terrible things and possibly formulate a new opinion.  I will then post said opinion on this here bloggity blog for your viewing pleasure.  I know, I know, I’m just too awesome for words.  It happens.  It’s science.

Things I’d prefer to stab with a sword, but everyone else pretty much loves:

1.  The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger –  My current opinion:  Holden’s a whiny bitch-ass who needs to open a thesaurus once in a while.  My updated opinion will be a while on this one.  I’m rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows because I desperately want to see the movie but I read it so fast the first time three years ago that I barely remember what happens.  So once that’s all set and done, I’ll tackle TCITR.

Cover of

Cover via Amazon

 2.  “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” – My current opinion:  Elliott’s a whiny bitch-ass who needs to get some friends.  Some human ones.  I was nervous about displaying my opinion on this one.  People feel really strongly about E.T.  Mostly I think I hated this movie because E.T. goes all gray and zombie-like and Elliott’s really annoying when he cries about it.  I’ll let you know.  I’m pretty sure I can on-demand it so my updated opinion will be along shortly.

3.  The Beatles My current opinion:  I actually really like them.  So, why then, you ask, are they included on the sword-stabbing list?  In high school (well beyond The Beatles era) it seemed everyone and their brother were experiencing Beatlemania.  And to this day I cannot figure out why.  So that’s why I’m including them on this list.

4.  “A Charlie Brown Christmas – My current opinion:  Kill me now.  Honest to God, I’m looking forward to this one the least.  I want to viciously stab this movie.  But it’s been years since I’ve watched it.  So I don’t think it’s fair that I want to stab it and impale it on like seven different swords. 

That’s all I can think of right now.  Give me some suggestions.  Chances are if you liked it, I probably hated it.  I’m contrary like that.  Maybe we’ll make this an annual thing.

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